Black women have endured generations of systemic oppression, racial and gender discrimination. In the midst of hardship, they’ve faced the world with resilience and strength – a response based on survival and societal expectation.
Despite strength being a determining factor behind collective perseverance, the “Strong Black Woman” archetype serves as both a badge of honor and a burden. Though it acknowledges endurance, it unfairly characterizes Black women as aggressive – or even hostile – while neglecting the emotional and mental toll it takes to be resilient.
A much-needed shift is happening, allowing Black women to rewrite the narrative and embrace softness, self-care and rest as essential forms of strength. From therapy and wellness practices to setting boundaries and prioritizing joy, outdated expectations are being challenged. The women who have been strong for so long are reclaiming their full humanity and their right to live robust lives.
Black Women in the Workplace
“The ‘Strong Black Woman’ is one who overcomes all obstacles, remains strong despite problems, and sacrifices herself for others,” writes Cynthia Nicole White in her 2021 psychology dissertation, titled “When Being Strong Hurts: Trauma and the Strong Black Woman Stereotype.”
In the workplace, Black women navigate a complex landscape of bias and expectation. Whether outspoken or reserved, their attitudes are closely scrutinized and measured against stereotypes. While battling microaggressions and working harder to prove themselves than their counterparts, career advancement may be met with unfavorable treatment by their peers in a phenomenon known as the “pet to threat” dynamic.
Even while code-switching and advocating for inclusive work environments, the challenges presented by racism and sexism can be harmful to mental, physical and emotional well-being. In addition to breaking barriers and leading with excellence, Black women are embracing self-care while balancing strength, vulnerability and ambition.
An Act of Healing
Black women are embracing holistic healthcare and healing as an act of radical self-care, prioritizing their mental, physical and spiritual well-being in ways that challenge the narrative that strength neglects wellness.
Shay Koloff, a certified herbalist and owner of The Broom Circle Holistic Healing and Tea Room in Colorado Springs, embarked on her holistic journey after becoming a mother in 2016.
She says that misconceptions regarding the concurrent use of natural herbs and conventional medication often deter people from herbalism, but that with precaution, they can work hand-in-hand to support health.
Sharing that many of her clients report feeling unheard by mainstream physicians, she practices herbalism to offer alternatives that allow them to take charge of their health.
“I have seen a lot of people come to herbal medicine because they want to have more control,” she points out. “They want to feel empowered.”
Koloff encourages people entering her practice to further their understanding of herbalism by studying the effects of herbs on targeted problems. She carefully formulates blends with rose, chamomile and lavender, incorporating research and traditional methodology to address underlying health conditions. Then, she customizes teas, tinctures and oils over time.
“Holistic medicine isn’t meant to be fast-acting,” she says. “You’re supposed to incorporate these things over long periods of time, which actually add to your longevity of life.”
In addition to addressing health disparities and honoring ancient practices, herbalism supports physical, mental and emotional health by reducing stress and providing a direct connection to nature.
Getting Grounded
Yoga is another practice that strengthens the body, with the added benefit of an emotional outlet.
Ali Duncan has curated an inviting space for physical and emotional healing at Urban Sanctuary in Denver, a diverse, all-inclusive yoga studio on the Welton Street corridor.
“Having a safe space for Black women to relax, to rest and for other women to hold space for them is huge” she says, pointing that the space is intended to foster physical and emotional health, all while building community.
“You’re centered; but you’re centered by those who look like you, versus centered for being different.”
The calming owner acknowledges the emotional connection to the art of yoga, noting that certain movements and poses can result in strong emotional reactions.
“The stiffness and the tightness in our bodies are trapped emotions,” she says, explaining that through intentional breathing and guided motion, participants are calming the nervous system.
“So, the more that you practice and start to let go of the stress in your body, then you start to show up that way off of your mat.”
Duncan encourages Black women starting a self-care journey to write a list of activities that make them feel good; then, choose new things each day to enrich their lives, paying attention to what nourishes their mind, body and souls.
An Act of Self-Preservation
Therapy is essential when shifting the narrative from strength to self-care. It provides a safe space to unpack trauma, unlearn harmful societal expectations and embrace vulnerability without judgment. It is a space where Black women can access deeper personal expression and healing.
Denver’s Joy Life Counseling offers a safe outlet where vulnerability is welcome and the experience of being a Black woman is shared.
Joy Ewing, a counselor who owns the practices, admits that the most common issues she sees when supporting Black women involve processing and healing generalized trauma, racial trauma and grief.
By partnering with a therapist they are comfortable with, Black women can express different facets of themselves that might otherwise remain hidden. Continuously having to be strong may not leave room to embrace softness for those who are engaged in a fight against social or economic inequity.
“In this space, we teach women how to be able to show that part of self and allow it to be
validated and empathized with,” says Ewing. “It can be really detrimental if we’re
feeling like we have to put on the ‘Strong Black Woman’ cape all of the time; or not put
up boundaries; or say ‘no;’ or rest.”
Ewing encourages clients practicing self-care to embrace healthy boundaries with the people around them as a healthy form of self-preservation and protection. She says that focusing on self-care can decrease stress, increase overall happiness and lead Black women to make more investments into themselves.
“It can really help them to become their true selves.”
Embracing a New Legacy
Black women draw upon a rich cultural legacy of strength and resilience in an enduring struggle to survive. As they navigate life’s challenges, the narrative that strength should neglect self-care has become outdated.
Instead, the strength of a Black woman is being redefined as the ability to prioritize rest, healing and vulnerability in order to live healthier, happier lives.
