Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects! Ask Deanna! can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in L.A.

Dear Deanna!
I’m the babysitter for my neighbor and the kid’s father is starting to make hints that he wants a relationship. He has given me flowers and we shared a bottle of wine when his wife was out of town. He’s putting pressure on me to be intimate but I don’t feel comfortable in his house. I need to talk to him to see what he wants from me and what his plans are for his marriage. How do I have this discussion?

Dear Babysitter:
The only discussion you need to have is the one asking for your check from his wife and ending your services. This man only wants you for sex because his wife is away working and he sees a willing babysitter. Don’t be flattered by the wine because that was part of his game to get you to give it up. You don’t need to discuss anything with him except the fact you’re not interested and he needs to find another babysitter and keep it moving.

Dear Deanna!
My sister has moved in with me and it’s a total disaster. She is a liar, a thief and a master manipulator. I am used to a calm life that doesn’t involve anyone opening my mail, answering my phone and acting as if they live in a hotel with room service. I’m going to put her out but I have to face drama from my family because she’s told them a pack of lies. Our family is torn and she already has everyone on her side. How do I evict her and still save face?

Dear Anonymous:
You need your sister and all of this madness just like you need a hole in the head. However, your sister is someone you grew up with and you knew most things about her before she moved in. This decision is quick and to the point. If it’s your house, your rules and your money, then she needs to shape up or ship out. If you have some joint agreements, then you need to change some locks, make new rules and try again before sending her packing.

­­­­­­

Dear Deanna!
I am fresh out of a long term relationship and I really enjoy my single life and freedom. My girlfriends all envy me and now their boyfriends are accusing them of cheating and looking for men when they hang out with me. I am not going to water down my lifestyle right now and my friends are having a hard time with this. They say that I am acting loose and as if I don’t have any morals. I think they’re tied down to balls and chains and are jealous. Am I wrong?

Dear Happy:
The men of your friends are insecure and obviously don’t know their women as well as they think. If your behavior is affecting them, you need to cool off and slow it down a bit when you’re around them. These are your friends and you need to still show some respect and regard for the differences in your relationships, or lack thereof. At the end of the day, enjoy your life and realize that everyone is responsible for their choices. Yours just appears more fun right now.

Dear Deanna!
My cousin has betrayed me by getting with my ex-boyfriend. We had a break-up but I felt there was always hope to get back together. I’m having a hard time because of the family issue and now they’re having a baby together. I’m trying to control myself and keep it together because he was seeing her when he was with me... I was doing fine and moving on until he called wanting to have a fling.  I’m torn between seeing him and telling my cousin. What do I do?

Dear Miserable:
If you think things are bad now, go ahead and get with him and you’ll have a living nightmare on your hands. Whether he’s with your cousin, a friend or a stranger, you had your chance, it didn’t work out and now he’s onto someone else. You have enough time to hold on to your sanity and find a relationship that’s good for you. Hold your head high and let the past be the past and although your cousin has him, realize that he’s cheating on her but it’s not with you.

Dear Deanna!
After being married for 10 years I love my wife but I think I’m in love with someone else. I’m ready to file for divorce because I want to be with the other woman. My wife and I don’t have any children and I would be willing to split our assets in order to be happy. How do I make sure the love is gone with my wife?

Dear Deanna!
I have to choose who I want to marry. I have a childhood friend that would love to be with me but I don’t feel any fireworks for him. I really want to marry my ex-boyfriend but I know he would only marry me for stability since he has a history of unemployment. I am so anxious to become a married woman but I’m having a tough time with this decision. Neither man has expressed this interest so I will be the one proposing. Who do I choose?

Dear Confusion:
You are missing the major dynamics of marriage such as a mutual agreement and of course, a loving committed relationship. This is a union from God and not to be taken lightly or as a game. Your childhood friend doesn’t deserve heartbreak and your ex-boyfriend would use you. You deserve better and should invest time in building a loving relationship with someone that has love, trust, respect and a joint decision for commitment and matrimony.

Dear Deanna!
My relationship feels dead.  In the beginning things were exciting but now everything is boring. I’m not motivated to do my hair anymore, I don’t feel like dressing up and sex is the last thing on my mind. Now that I look my worse, my boyfriend has become active, he goes out all the time and has really come out of his shell. He doesn’t pay me any attention and when he does, he seems to be somewhere else. Are these signs that we need to end this relationship?

Dear Hurting:
You’re living the classic case that involves women let themselves go and then lose their man. You need to wake up and realize you look a mess and your boyfriend has chosen to keep living. He hasn’t changed other than the fact he may have another woman because he’s almost sick of you. If you want this relationship get your act together fast because he’s on his way out. The clock is ticking but you can turn things around with effort, and positive thinking.

Dear Deanna!
My girlfriend slapped me so hard that she cut my lip and I started bleeding. It made me so mad that I slapped her. She called the police and accused me of beating her and I went to jail for three days. I broke up with her because she didn’t tell the police that I hit her for calling my mother out of her name. She wants to get back with me but I’m just not feeling it. What should I do?

Dear Anonymous:
Mothers are on the second line of elevation after God but you should’ve walked away instead of reacting in a physical manner. However, any woman that will send a man to jail out of spite deserves to be alone. This woman told an ugly lie that will haunt you for a long time. You should enjoy your freedom and realize there are other fish in the sea.

Dear Deanna!
I’m in a committed relationship with no children or financial concerns. However, I do want children. Do you think I should adopt or end the relationship because the lady I’m with doesn’t plan on having kids?

Dear Damien:
Regardless of where they come from, natural birth or adoption, both parties must agree on the children issue.There’s a difference between a woman not wanting to physically birth children versus not wanting any at all. Have a discussion with your mate and see if she’s willing to adopt.  If so, you’re fine. If not, decide if you want to be with this woman or find one that’ll fulfill your dream to hear the pitter patter of little feet..