Dear Deanna!
I am over 40 and look very good for my age. I date younger men, love younger men and prefer intimacy with younger men. My daughter who is 20 years old is jealous of me and at times, we’ve competed for the same love interests. She’s not speaking to me now because her boyfriend left her and now he wants to date me. My daughter is important but she can’t control my love life. Should I just let this young man go to make her happy or keep him?

Dear Good Looking:
You may look good for your age, but there’s nothing cute about scooping up your daughter’s leftovers. She’s right to be upset and no man should make you this foolish to not understand her feelings. You’ve obviously mistaken her embarrassment for jealousy. You need to grow up and be the parent in this relationship and put your daughter’s concerns before any man. In other words, don’t be nasty going behind your daughter and choose her instead of her boyfriend. And for the record, Cougars belong in the zoo and not on the street.

Dear Deanna!
I made the mistake and tried to help a friend that got evicted from her apartment. She has three children and I feel as if I’m living in a tornado. These kids have no home training, constantly spill food and are always dirty. I’m really losing my mind because you would think they were deaf the way the television is on full blast. The way my home looks and the stress I feel makes me willing to lose the friendship if I kick her out. What do I do?

Dear Anonymous:
There may be more to the story of why she got evicted in the first place. If you value your sanity and possessions, help her plan her next move. Be mature and have a discussion without placing the blame on the children and express your desire to reclaim your space. Have a few applications available and some cash to speed the process. This approach should save your friendship and also get the tiny terrors out the door quick, fast and in a hurry.

Dear Deanna!
I’m a Christian and I thought I was happily married. I think my husband may be having an affair with my cousin. He hasn’t displayed any signs of cheating nor has his behavior changed. I looked at his cell phone bill and see that he’s been calling my cousin on a more than regular basis. It pushed me over the edge when I came home late one night and found him at my cousin’s house eating pizza and watching movies. Is there something going on or am I insecure?

Dear Worried:
It’s amazing that as a Christian you have the Word, but run when the world slaps you with a test of faith. Your husband doesn’t need to call your cousin or any woman unless it’s business. He should also be home late at night. Yes something is going on if you didn’t know where he was and found him at your cousin’s house. Share your concerns and suspicions with your husband, suggest a few rules concerning your cousin and keep it moving.

Dear Deanna!
I want to have a baby but my boyfriend is against it. He wants to wait until we get married but he has no plans to propose soon. He has threatened that he will leave me if I trick him and come up pregnant. My clock is ticking and I want a baby before I get too old. I don’t understand what the problem is and I am willing to end this relationship if things don’t change soon. How do I express the seriousness of this baby issue with my boyfriend?

Dear Tanisha:
Your relationship is missing the word marriage. Your boyfriend doesn’t have the title of husband and going ahead with your baby plan equals ignorance. Your boyfriend should realize he can’t be tricked into pregnancy if he protects himself especially if your little clock is ticking. If he hasn’t proposed on his own will, pregnancy won’t change his intent or urgency. Face it, he’s not interested in a baby or marriage right now and you can either love it or leave it.

Dear Deanna!
I work two jobs because my wife got laid off. She’s never satisfied and when I think about it, I’m breaking my neck and she spends money left and right. I don’t have a problem with this, but if she wants to have her glamorous lifestyle, she needs to get a job. When I approach her, she claims she can’t find work but she’s not looking. I’m tired and want to rest but also want to keep my wife happy but don’t know how.

Dear Joel:
Shut her down, close your wallet and take the credit cards immediately. If your wife won’t work, then you need to make her an item on the budget and give her a monthly allowance. Once her money runs out, then oh well, she’s stuck until the next cycle or until she gets a job. This may not make your wife happy but at least you’ll still be around to see her.

Dear Deanna!
My husband is addicted to internet pornography. I feel very insulted because it’s rude and disrespectful. We’ve argued often because I’ve asked him to entertain himself with the computer when I’m not around. He will access things on the screen while I’m in the room and I can’t take it. The cost and charges on our credit cards and bank account is another story. What do I do before this ruins my marriage which I see happening?

Dear Insulted:
You can solve this problem in five minutes and never leave your home. Call your telephone company and have your telephone service disconnected because without phone service, your husband can’t access the internet. Be sure to have a cell phone handy and prepare for the storm. Take this opportunity to suggest counseling and if the phones come back on, your husband has to choose between you or the cyber chicks.

Dear Deanna!
I spend a lot of time being friends with women, listening to their problems and just being a great guy. I’m in a situation with a friend that I now want a relationship with but she isn’t interested. Once I made my feelings known she has basically kicked me to the curb. I can’t understand why she took my money, used my car and came to me with all of her problems but won’t date me. What did I do wrong?

Dear A.J.
You got played which is what insecure women, a few wives and silly girls do to the good men out there. You fell victim to a woman that wanted a guidance counselor and financial provider without any loving. These women are fine as long as they get what they want without giving up anything. Consider yourself blessed to be out before your credit was ruined and you were left looking foolish with a broken heart.

Dear Deanna!
At what point do you give up on a spouse that can’t get up and make things happen. I’ve sacrificed so many of my dreams and goals to support my husband. I’ve had job offers in other states, business opportunities and more. I felt sorry for being a high achiever so I always stayed at a certain level so he would shine. The years have gone by and he’s burned out but my opportunities are still available. Is it a problem if I go for it?

Dear Anonymous:
If the shoe were on the other foot, he would leave you in the dust and hope to meet you at the finish line. You’re a team and all rewards should be shared so it doesn’t matter who has the title of superstar. If your husband hasn’t complained, this is a reflection of your feelings that are way off base. Unless you want to be dusty looking in a mirror of failure, you have the answer and should take the leap forward with no turning back..

Editor’s note: Ask Deanna! is written by Deanna M. Write Ask Deanna! via email at askdeanna1@yahoo.com, write to DeannaM, 264 S. La Cienega, Suite 1283, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 or visit www.askdeanna.com.